Being a Mother is a lot about Incentives

Outside my window I hear the clinking sound of metal scraping against metal, my son scraping the BBQ grill clean- for a price. I've learned that when I want something done, teenagers react well to $$$. It makes sense, part of the natural growth of our relationship I am sure. When they were little, simple things worked. For example, I could say to my daughter, "Yes we can watch Little Mermaid for the umpteenth time , once you pick up your toys." Or I could tell her that "dessert is for those who eat all their dinner," to get her to eat a few more vegetables. I think that for my son actually money has always been the most effective incentive consistently. (He's a capricorn)

So now I can look around the house at work that needs done, and I can look at the balance of my checking account and what I can spare, and then with those two pieces of information I make an offer. It's a give and take. So before my daughter and I headed off to Costco the other day to stock up the cabinets for the month, I asked my son to clean out the fridge before I got back. He did a fantastic job actually and it was super helpful. My daughter did some weeding and gardening the other day, and of course they have regular chores and allowance.

I guess my point is that I am starting to adjust to this whole, "my kids are no loner 'kids' they are teenagers fairly well. I just got to keep enough cash in my wallet and be willing to ply board games to help entertain them during their months off from the institutions of middle and high school. Our kitten is glad to have us around most days as well, and the house is starting to stay pretty organized (comparatively speaking in relation to its previous status).

On a totally different note, I decided to take clippers to my own hair yesterday and gave my self a semi mo-hawk. I know that eventually it will mean I have to cut my hair even shorter when I have to go back to work come September, but I am ok with that. I am not saying that I did a brilliant job, but I cut my own hair with clippers! No plugs in the back or the sides to show slip ups, although it isn't perfectly even either...
"Why?" you ask. Simply because I could. And I love rubbing the back of my mostly bald head for relaxation, and I really wanted to reclaim my own hair and be responsible for the shearing myself. I have shaved my own head since junior high- It felt really good actually- and I wasn't having some weird melt down moment or anything, I was just doing something that I have wanted to d for a long time.
ACCOMPLISHED! Maybe i will bleach it and die it blue next... hmm....

Meetings

I am pretty sure that I have ranted in the past about a lot of things that irk me, but I really want to take a minute to complain about why I hate meetings and am frustrated that so many entities I work with consider them essential. I am talking about work/planning related meetings- not the "hey friend, lets hang out" meetings.

What every meeting should have:
1. Refreshments- Don't make me sit in a room bored out of my mind with nothing to eat, that is just wrong. I think that I am going to boycott all meetings without snacks in the future.

2. A clear point- this goes beyond the mere "agenda" (although there should be some semblance of one of those too). I don't want to be in a room and have to hear what was talked about at the last 5 meetings and is still only somewhat relevant to anything else going on.

2.5 Regarding an agenda- Everyone (excluding the people listed in 5) should have a say in what the meeting is about. Items on the agenda should be the most pertinent items. Tins f time shouldn't be spent on things NOT on the agenda, cause time is precious.

3. A solid "leader"- whoever facilitates a meeting should see 1 & 2 as a given and act accordingly. They should avoid lengthy name dropping sessions, vague plans and projects that are only relevant to their interests, and boring everyone out of their minds.

4. An hour is usually enough- I do not ever recall a meeting that was longer then an hour because it really needed to be. With 2 hours it seems that people get lax the first hour, try to get somewhere the next half hour and then the final half hour is a mad rush to feel like something was accomplished to justify the time.

5. Some people should not be invited to physically attend- I am talking bout the ramblers and random tangent people, the bad joke tellers, the people that feel their individual concerns deserve attention in a group setting when they are not relevant to the group and should be discussed in a different meeting with only the concerned parties. We all know who they are, they are always present at meetings making the time go more slowly and awkwardly. These people have e-mails, send them the minutes after the fact- it will be less that has to be typed and read because of their absence.

Guaranteed ways to make me like meetings more:
5. Pay me specifically for the meeting time, so each minute can be thought of as a specific amount of $. So at the 5 minute mark when I know what I am in for I can start doing the math of how much change I am getting per minute, after 10 minutes, etc...
granted it is better if the amount is a good amount, to justify the time- but if it isn't a lot of dough, atleast you can grumble about all the things you would have rather done without receiving meager compensation at all to fuel your growing resentment.

4. Send an e-mail instead- preferably clearly labeled in a way that directs it to my spam filter.

3. Meetings should take place at a restaurants or happy hour situations.

2. A slight inebriation that works its way into giddiness will take the edge off bad financial news, boring details, and the fact that you don't like everyone present.

1. Fire Dancers

defeated (temporary title)

defeated
written by Turiya

the product of my emotions, my love,
should be the one thing I can control
the how, the when, the why, the where, the who
but my love has a mind of her own
she breaks free from my heart and flies reckless
believing herself immortal and unscathed by defeat

my love is a trouble maker caught wet handed playing doctor
stitching wounds together with similes
her antiseptic tears sterilizing the emptiness
hoping distraction will hide the lack of anesthesia
and the depth of rejection wounds

she places everything on the line
an unlucky chronic gambler
wagering a pair is enough
to bring victory in a world of shadows
and unfair deals

my love is a foreigner in her homeland
exposed, inside out, mangled under the traffic of progress
unwanted, abandoned, left stranded
without proper luggage for the journey
and no spare dimes

my love fades like a whisper and forgotten memories
a face I thought I knew but no longer remember
an eastern horizon vanished
sweet optimism drowned in the wake
of being unable to return

my love wants what she cannot have
acts diplomatic while waging internal wars
impales herself on her own vulnerability
surrenders after barely fighting
unsure of what she believes

she’s wearing too small shoes
and dreams too large to carry
and everything unclaimed that wasn’t hers to begin with
unsure how to let go of anything
without losing herself