Returning to technology... slowly

When my computer crashed I was at an all-time height of productivity. I started a facebook account, I was updating everything, blogging, making and finding friends in the virtual terrain. Then it happened, like a swift icy smack in the face of all my efforts. Words cannot describe the sensation fully.

Its seismic impact ripped holes in my file, rendering my technological landscape of hard work into a ragged disaster of unorganized chaos. Slowly, I am making my way through the rubble in an attempt to resurrect and recreate that which isn't lost forever.

Photos- many are gone, with no hope of retrieval.
Music- my itunes library is but a shell of empty references to the songs (approximately 3500) and albums that used to be there. Sure most are on my ipod, but my ability to sync and add is stunted until I figure out how to remedy it.
Website- sure it is still online as it was when I last updated it before the crash, but the files that I built and published from are no longer in my software program, which means I have to rebuild my website from the ground up before I can publish any changes. To publish it now, would erase what is currently on-line.
Files- I recovered the most important things, my thesis/ manuscript and work saved before April of 08. But the gap between then and now- gone.

This is why I haven't been blogging.
This is why the calendar on the website is growing stale.
This is why, after all my progress over the last couple of years temporarily halted.

Yesterday I started rebuilding my website. It has a lot of pages, a lot of links, a lot of files. What I have saved from 08 are random pieces saved in weird formats from it being published, not all of them translate over correctly and it is frustrating since I no longer have all of those photos and files on my computer. Some things I can cut and paste, but it is slow going.

I still like my laptop, but the glowing 2 year honeymoon "love" phase is over. I have doubts now, fears, phobias, caution and a sense of hesitancy. Will it betray me again? Like the love interest who is initially perfect, then starts making crude jokes, acting a mess, leaving trails of disfunction and you wonder, "how did I not see this before?" You can't go back to the way it was, instead you have to find ways to forgive, forget and/or move forward. All "F" words, which ironically also starts the curse word that keep coming to mind as I try to make order out of the chaos.